thernardier:

“you wanna see my breasts” i say seductively to my boyfriend. i unbutton my shirt to reveal two large, succulent cuts of meat. i am a chicken. why do i have a boyfriend. why am i wearing clothes

(Source: kawhoru, via liveinaglass)

makeyourownroadasyougo:

plants-from-texas-are-dumb:

catswithbenefits:

what if your belly button screamed when you put a shirt on because it was afraid of the dark

are u ok

Is your belly button okay?!

(Source: hippiehealthy, via liveinaglass)

toadlyoko:

So in middle school we weren’t allowed to have any drinks aside from water but I kept sprite or the clear kool aid in a water bottle and felt like I was someone who made moonshine during the prohibition era. 

(via liveinaglass)

selfdoubtandsyphilis:

dankestrnemes:

do animals think in english or in the sounds they make

this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for

(via esthersdenver)